


Finding Together

by ChyDev23



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: AND GAY, F/F, and i am planting this seed, because i see something going on, lilith is so angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25681666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChyDev23/pseuds/ChyDev23
Summary: She cared, more than she expected to. But things change. A LilShotgun oneshot(I fully laughed but I love this) taking place seconds after 1x10
Relationships: Sister Lilith/Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 81





	Finding Together

Lilith held her breath, she didn’t know that she had held her breath. Everything seemed to slow down as she watched Mary step forward. “Fuck that. In this life.”

Mary took out the shotguns, no longer holding any shots. Lilith feels her body freeze. _What are you doing?_ Her mind races just like her heart. In any other moment, she would spring into action. But pure fear courses through her. Mary is surrounded by possessed citizens, swiping at as many people as she can before getting overwhelmed. 

That’s when it happens. Something snaps in her when she no longer sees Mary, too many bodies to see or hear her anymore. Rage envelopes Lilith. “We have to help her now!”

Lilith moves in a flash, claws slashing and blood spraying. She sees the others fighting as well, but she doesn’t care. She has to get to Mary. 

Mary. 

Mary. 

“Mary!” Lilith cries out. She keeps calling her name, wanting..no, needing to hear the woman’s voice. 

Nails connect with necks, eyes, arms, anything that she can reach and tear apart. 

All she hears now is the sound of her heartbeat, pounding heavily in her ears. It’s a blur of bodies around her. She blacks out. 

She comes to when she feels a hand against her shoulder, flinching. 

“It’s just me,” Beatrice’s bruised face meets her. “We need to take Mary away.”

“Where-Is she-” Lilith’s words come out in a rasp, not sounding like herself. 

“We have to get her help, she’s in a bad way.” Beatrice pulls her up. She looks down noticing that her hands had been shaking this whole time, blood soaked. The nails were gone at least. 

She feels the dried blood on her face, the odor filling up her nose. She hears the sound of her feet, shuffling quickly in the direction that Beatrice is holding her. She’s tired, almost. But none of it matters, she won’t rest until she sees Mary. 

They walk down the street, sirens heard in the distance. “Ava found a van.” Beatrice points to the black van that’s parked just a couple yards away. 

Lilith feels her strides become longer, almost gliding to the van. Beatrice is not far behind, catching up and knocking on the van doors. “It’s us!”

Ava pops open the back doors, with Camila in the passenger seat. Lilith’s eyes find Mary’s still body on the floor of the van. She slides into the van, Beatrice getting in behind her and closing the doors. 

“She’s breathing still, but she has a pretty big gash in her leg. I’ve tied it up. I think there’s a uh cut above her head.” Ava stammers. 

“You think or you know?” Lilith says it calmly. She meets Ava’s eyes, her own brimming with tears. Ava watches her face, stunned. She rarely cried, and the Halo-Bearer had never experienced this from her. 

“She’s gonna be okay, Lilith” Ava sits on the other side of Mary. 

“I’m taking us out of town, to a woman that might help us.” Beatrice moves up to the drivers seat now. 

“Keep her wounds pressed for bleeding.” Camila calls over her shoulder. 

Lilith doesn’t pay attention to anything else. She gently puts Mary’s head in her lap. _You have to be okay._

She’s wiped as much blood from her hands before tearing a piece of her cloak, using it to wipe blood and sweat from the unconscious woman’s face. She can’t help but let her eyes linger on her features. She wipes over her nose, finding a small cut just below the bridge. Her upper lip has almost dried blood, dipping onto her cupid's bow, falling to the side of her lips. She smooths back the hairs let loose from her braids. _I’ll sit and watch you redo them, I have to. I promise I will. Or I will do them myself, for you._

Lilith closes her eyes now, her palm resting against Mary’s cheek, thumb caressing it slowly. This was the most peace she’d had in days, maybe even weeks. And it still wasn’t enough. 

\------

She doesn’t know how long they’ve been driving, but when she comes to, she’s the only one in the van. Her adrenaline kicks in, needing to know everyone is alright. That Mary is alright. It’s light out as she exits the van, an old home with a fence surrounding it and a farm in the distance. 

She steps up onto the porch, seeing that the front door is open through a screen door. She hears no voices inside, but the sounds of dishes being washed pull her in. When she walks in, on her left are jackets and cloaks with shoes just under them all, in front of her are stairs and to the right is a dining table and the sound of dishes. 

She grativates to the sound first, not wanting to intrude in an unfamiliar place. She’s turning the corner when she sees a man and a woman, side by side at the sink cleaning. The sound of her boots must alert them, as they turn around to face her. 

“Ahh, you must be Lilith.”, says the man. His beard is speckled with grey, but his eyes are young and sincere. 

“Everyone is resting upstairs. We were told to let you sleep, but I’m Iliana, and this is Joshua, my husband.” the woman hangs up a dish towel on a rack hanging from the ceiling. 

Lilith looks between them, still not sure what to make of them. Joshua smiles now. “Ava said this morning that you might be a little on edge, but there’s food in the fridge. Everyone else is upstairs with their food. We made sandwiches. We can all sit down and catch you up on-”

“Where is she?” Lilith can’t help but interrupt. She didn’t care if they were murderers or not, if they were helping Mary, she was okay. 

“You must mean Mary, she is upstairs. Room on the far right. She’s still sleeping.” Iliana hands her a glass of water. 

“Please, take it with you. You’ve slept most of the day.” the older woman offers. 

“... thank you” Lilith nods before making her way up the stairs by twos. 

When she makes it up, she sees 3 other doors, all cracked open. She makes no move to announce to anyone else that she is awake, only focusing on one person. Mary. 

She opens the door to see Mary laying on the bed. The clock on the nightstand next to her shows that it’s going on 5pm. She had slept longer than she thought. There’s a chair just on the other side of the room, she brings it close to the bed. Close enough to take Mary’s hand in hers. She glances at the bandages on her side and her leg. The blanket that covered only half of her body was now being moved to cover the rest of her body with Lilith’s free hand. 

“Don’t scare me like that again, you hear me?” She tries to say calmly, but her voice betrays her. 

“You’ve been nothing but a pain. An irritating, do good, rebellious, pain for a very long time. And that’s not changing now.” 

Lilith wipes at her eyes, not wanting the tears to fall. 

“There’s… There’s still so much that I haven’t told you. That I need to tell you. So, I need you to wake up soon.” Lilith’s hand becomes warm as she holds Mary’s, but she doesn’t care. 

The others eventually find her in the room, no one questioning her holding onto Mary’s hand. This wasn’t something Lilith was used to. It wasn’t a feeling she had ever imagined or wanted to act upon. But things change. Lilith had changed. Mary had changed. Things were different and they were complicated. 

Which upsets her. Lilith doesn’t like complicated. She’s blunt, she’s straightforward. She works hard and gets what she rightfully deserves. There were no complications in that. 

But sitting here, miles away from the place she considered home for many years, holding the hand of the woman she didn’t want to let go of. She didn’t want to admit what that meant, but she wasn’t going to leave her side. She couldn’t. She was stuck and she knew it. 

If she had to repress her feelings in order to live with herself, she would do it. But she would spend every waking moment making sure Mary was okay. That’s all she wanted anymore. 

\------

The next 2 days are the same. Everyone comes in to visit Mary, and essentially Lilith too. They bring her food, and have to force her to change out of her clothes if she wouldn’t shower. She doesn’t want to miss the moment Mary wakes up. 

She learns that Joshua and Iliana used to work along with the warrior nuns, providing a safe haven for those that would need shelter. Threats of demons and ill intentioned people had died down in recent years, no one visiting them as often. Until days ago when they had arrived. 

The room Mary was set up in was on the second floor of the house, with enough medical equipment that it almost looked like a hospital room. Mary lost some blood, the gash to her leg and side doing the most damage. They were lucky enough that they had the right equipment for a transfusion. It still made Lilith’s skin crawl in ways she didn’t understand to see Beatrice have the same blood type needed for Mary. She still thanked her when it was done. 

It’s on day 3 though that she notices that she does smell, and that anyone who comes into the room quickly leaves after dropping things off or tending to Mary’s wounds. 

“You wouldn’t want her to wake up to you smelling like this.” Ava mostly jokes in the evening. 

“You may have a point… Will you-” Lilith stops speaking, meeting the other woman’s gaze. Ava simply nods, moving farther into the room. 

She feels like she has stepped into a new world. She had gotten used to only briefly going into the bathroom down the hall to pee. She didn’t take those seconds away from Mary lightly. 

She sheds the garbs that she feels became a second skin to her. Iliana had left some clothes for her to change into on the toilet, telling her to leave the clothes that aren’t torn outside of the door for her to wash. 

She sees the dried blood on her face in the mirror. She must have looked terrifying for days, never moving from her spot in the chair next to Mary’s bed. But she didn’t care what others thought. Or rather, she only cared what Mary would think. 

It made her uncomfortable to think about. To think about Mary. To think about how much she was worried. How much she craved to see the woman’s dark brown eyes again. To hear her say her name again. 

She turns on the water in the shower, figuring that this would be quicker than a bath. The water is hot, but it doesn’t bother Lilith. She lets the water run down her face, the feeling immediately causing a sigh to escape her lips. The tension in her shoulders melt as she turns around, letting the water hit her back. 

What was she? Who was she?

These feelings, feelings that she didn’t understand. It almost made her feel sick. It kept turning into her mind that these feelings had been there a while. But she kept them buried. Death, near death cleared the way for these feelings. But it didn’t make any of this any easier. It didn’t make her feel any better. She had spent a good deal of her life, always focusing on structure. If there was a goal, she’d get it. If she was told what to do, she would do it. And in being a warrior nun, there was nothing else she knew to be. There was no other way of life that made sense to her. But she was questioning herself. She was sad, she was angry. How could she let herself fall like this? There was no guide book for this. There was no guidebook for nuns who lov-

The knock on the door stops her thoughts, she’s grateful for it. 

She turns off the water, and calls out. The door cracks open, Beatrice’s voice cuts through the air. 

“She’s awake. And she-” Before Beatrice can continue, Lilith is practically hopping out of the shower, not caring what the other woman sees. 

“Oh, let me just!” Beatrice rushes out, leaving the door cracked in her haste. 

Lilith throws on the plain grey t-shirt and dark denim jeans that were provided for her, quicker than she would put on her robes. 

The steam of the hot shower lingers on her body, she looks like she is an actual storm, coming back to the room. 

She stands in the doorway, her heart in her throat. She’s awake. 

She’s awake. 

She’s alive. 

She steps into the room and sees that everyone, including Joshua and Iliana are around the bed. 

She can’t see her yet. 

Every step closer to the bed, she can hear Mary’s voice. Lilith can feel her heart want to shoot out of her chest. And it’s like the seas part, just for her, when Ava turns around. She moves over and Lilith slides in place. 

“You are very lucky to have so many people who care about you.” Iliana says. 

Mary hasn’t noticed her yet. 

Her voice is tired in response. “I’d say that I am, definitely. Thank you Iliana.” Mary’s smile is small, but the burst of energy Lilith gets from seeing it takes her by surprise. 

“You know you are always welcome here Mary. And though we would have loved to see you again under different circumstances, you know you’ve got a haven here.” Joshua squeezes her shoulders after checking her vitals again. 

That’s when she looks up at Lilith. And Lilith can only gravitate closer to the bed, knees feeling like they might buckle by how warm the eyes staring at her are. She smiles again, but there’s something else there that Lilith dares not think about. 

“Hi.”

Lilith gulps. 

“Hi.”

“I heard you were pretty worried about me.” Mary’s hand has her blanket in a ball. 

“I-I was.” Lilith shocks herself. 

“I appreciate that. A lot Lilith.” Lilith watches the way her name falls from her lips. She thinks Mary notices her looking, but she doesn’t make any other hints. 

“We should let you rest.” Iliana tries to guide everyone out, but Lilith won’t budge. Mary looks at her confused for a second. 

“You need rest too. I’ll be here in the morning. Plus, I don’t think you want to see me eat.” 

“I don’t mind.” Lilith doesn’t meet her eyes. Iliana smirks, knowing all too well the signs and leaves the room. 

It’s silent in the room, until Mary characteristically calls it out. 

“You’d think someone who wanted to stay would have more to say.” Mary sips her water. 

“I have plenty to say, but I don’t know how.” Their eyes meet after nearly 20 minutes and Lilith sighs. She wasn’t used to being this vulnerable, but as of late Mary brought out more in her than she could imagine. She didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing yet. 

Lilith finds herself moving towards the chair that she had been sitting the past couple of days. 

Mary shifts in the bed, sitting up more. She clears her throat and the way her brows furrow makes Lilith’s stomach clench. 

“I had some interesting dreams you know. Some with Ava being a pain in my ass, some with Mother Superion whipping somebody ass during training. And then there was you.” Mary’s voice is steady. Her eyes never leave Lilith’s face, who can’t meet her eyes. 

Instead Lilith looks at the same hand she had been holding the past 48 hours. She felt like she could throw up from the gaze holding her right now. But she had to concentrate on her hand. 

“And what was I doing in this dream?” Lilith’s voice cracks at the end. Mary closes her eyes, chest rising and falling with a deep breath. Lilith can’t help but watch, now being able to look at her face. 

“You were being stubborn. As usual. You wouldn’t listen to a damn word anyone had to say. You even told someone you wanted them to wake up or something.” 

Did she know?

“That’s an interesting dream to have. Did I say anything else in it? Or did we end up fighting again” Lilith does her best to smile. But her nerves are getting the best of her, palms becoming sweaty. 

Mary chuckles slightly, “Ya know, you said only a few things. You were quiet most of it.”

Lilith had put her head back down, not noticing that Mary was now looking at her again. She only notices when Mary’s fingers move slightly. 

She’s never seen stars in her eyes like this. She got dizzy from training when she was young. Been hit in the head or landed weird. But she’s never seen stars from just looking at someone. 

Mary’s eyes searched hers. It was so intense, but she couldn’t look away. Not after what they’d been through. She spent far too many hours not being able to look into them. She would force herself to look into her eyes. She wouldn’t fool herself in believing that she deserved it, but she would take it. 

“I woke up briefly. And you were sleeping, in that exact chair. You had your eyebrows scrunched up like you were having bad dream after bad dream. But you were holding my hand. And you squeezed.”

Lilith’s eyes are watering now, the weight of what was happening coming down. 

Mary just continues. “For a long time, you got on my nerves. And we fought. And we argued. And we got in each other’s faces. But I wanted nothing more than to just take away the things that hurt you.” 

Lilith finds her hand just inches away from Mary’s. She had gripped the side of the bed, needing to anchor herself. 

“I wanted to hold you, and give you some peace. You never rest.” Mary laughs, finally averting her gaze. 

Lilith hates that their eyes aren’t looking at the others. But their hands meet. And it’s far better than any other moment she held Mary’s hand. 

“Come here baby girl.” 

The words don’t feel real. What was happening didn’t feel real. But Lilith did as she was told. She couldn’t resist. 

Mary scooted over, and Lilith was gentle in getting into the bed beside her, hands still together. 

They are facing each other now. Both of their chests rising and falling quicker than just minutes before. Mary wipes a tear Lilith hadn’t noticed on her cheek. It both burned and soothed her. She was fighting more demons than one at this point, but she didn’t know if she would win this fight in front of her. 

“I was scared that I was going to lose you. Before I had the chance to-” The words get caught in Lilith’s throat. Guilt settling on her face. She wanted to say more. But it was hard. And Mary knew her better than she knew herself. 

“I know, I know.” Mary is close to her face now, whispers dancing against Lilith’s lips. 

“But I’m here. And we can get through anything.” Lilith didn’t know if she meant the warrior nuns, or Mary’s current condition, but it didn’t matter. She takes a leap. The biggest one she’s ever done. 

And she kisses Mary. It’s not hungry, but it’s desperate. It’s long, and Mary kisses her back. She feels the pit in her stomach unwinding and knotting again and again and again. She loves how her nose feels against Mary’s. She loves how Mary’s lips taste. Softer than she ever expected them to be. 

Lilith is the one to break the kiss, regretting it as soon as there’s a rush of air between them. 

“I don’t have any answers to any of this yet.” Lilith begins, still looking at Mary’s lips. 

“Then let’s find them together.”

**Author's Note:**

> Because I know we won't ever get them, but a person can dream right? There's potential and I couldn't waste it!


End file.
